Following a strenuous, agonising, deeply emotional experience, we're often left stranded, alone in fragments, a bond to the past that's adhesive in our daily lives. Tormented and possessed by the thoughts of what took place or what could have been. The story bleeds into our present day and forward into our future. We tie ourselves up and become depleted shells of the individual we know we're suppose to be. The sense of failure and disappointment only makes the anxiety and pain worse.
The emotional experience follows us around, dampening our mood and body language. At times we can feel helpless, almost a kind of torture, a dark cloud encompassing our hearts. It's always a rainy day, even if the sun is out. A loss of interest in things, things which once made use smile and laugh. Appetite is non-existent and the bones slowly start to show. The pain and feelings of hopelessness and despair drown our every step. This mental pain calls for emotional healing and an opportunity to develop.
Emotional healing is nothing like physical healing. Generally, physical healing is in need of rest, however, emotional healing requires effort and a motivation to strive. It demands us to dig deep into our experience, obtain wisdom and slowly commit to a positive change into our lives. It's not easy and it can be a lengthy and lonely journey.
Everyone at some point in their life feels broken. We end up in long periods of despair and we don't know what to do, hence we settle for living our life through the lenses of pain, sadness, fear, anxiety and disillusionment.
Whether its shifting to a more positive emotional state or creating a healthier and organic thinking pattern, we have to address the emotions to make that happen. Transferring our emotions in the exact moment can bring some positive change. When we put a hopeful twist on the negative feelings, naturally the emotions shift with them. Practised on a regular basis we can notice a difference in our emotional state. As humans, when we honour our feelings and sync with them, the voices of distress and pain simmer down.
When we can't let go, it's usually because we don't trust ourselves not to make/replicate the shortcoming again. We have to accept the reality and reconstruct piece by piece. Whether we've been wronged or are the wrong-doer, we must manufacture the courage to grow and build resilience to overcome the boundaries of distress, so we can take the step of living a life that we love.
Some points to heal/help:
Accept it - as opposed to fighting the context of what happened, learn to accept it. It's happened and it can't be undone. Embrace it and accept change. If you resist, this negativity will only fuel and enrage the energy/emotions that keep you feeling broken and disheartened about what took place.
Validate the feelings - acknowledge and release the emotions. This may be through crying and releasing or keeping a simple diary. Remind yourself that any individual in this situation would feel the same. Or sometimes it can mean sitting and contemplating how disappointed you are and allowing the feelings to pass through you. It's important to offer yourself time to feel the whole emotional distress as unappealing as it sounds. When we're afraid or upset, we tend to restrict our capacity to feel, so we don't become unsettled. But, what we don't comprehend is we don't make the pain/feelings go away, instead we just cover it-up and let it linger. Permit yourself to feel your honest emotions as it's essential to the releasing process because it will give you the indication of the next step.
Determine a course of action - use the information gathered from the previous steps to decide how you will amend your course of action for the future. Becoming clear and explicit about what took place will help you become proactive and respond differently. When you allow yourself to observe the full circumstances of your emotions it helps you to prioritise what you truly care about and what you want for yourself. Once you get the grasp of the shortcoming or what was done incorrectly, you're then suited to make choices on how to behave and respond. This process enables you to specify your behaviours and actions, it's a system to develop.
Ask for support and help - when going through such a distressing experience, you tend to hide away in solitude. When you're feeling broken mentally, naturally we believe people won't understand the process you're going through. Other times it's because we feel ashamed and embarrassed. But, don't be afraid to reach out to family and friends. Remember you are loved by many. The support and love from others can aid us to overcome hardship and solve problems in our daily lives.
I tried to create a productive process above to help overcome adversity and emotional disasters we may be trying to overcome in our lives. It's something I'm also trying to do. I know it's not easy and most likely there will be more negative days than good days. It's important to keep reminding yourself it's a process and time will take it's course. You have to put the effort in. If you want change then it needs to come from yourself firstly. There are many other things to do, such as keeping busy, becoming productive or picking up a new hobby. Basically, distracting yourself. However, sometimes distracting yourself is not taking care of the situation. You have to face your fears upfront, accept and make the change whilst absorbing the lessons you learnt/learning from the emotional ride. Use this stress to develop yourself and become a better person. Make it your motivation and drive to bring the best possible outcomes from the situation.
I pray every pain and every tear that falls from your face be the keys to paradise. I pray better days come your way.
Ayaan
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