I come from an Indian Punjabi background. My family being a hybrid of Sikhism and Hinduism, predominately Sikhism. Meaning, there are unintentional influences of Hinduism within their faith. Whether they are aware, I do not know. From my knowledge, this mixture of religion has come through their ignorance and the lack of passion to learn. To be just, generally, my family are not practising and concentrate more on being a good person through attitude and actions, or indirectly/slightly believe the concept of "all religions are right, its the same god". However, maybe I could save this topic for another blog, let me know. Nevertheless, I love my family, they are very good people and I pray Allaah guides them, aameen.
Moving on. Living in such a household, it would get quite confusing at times, seeing pictures of deities with animal heads of different genders and the odd idol here and there [which all comes from Hinduism]. Then if you was to look further down the room, you would see images of figure heads in Sikhism. Nothing really made sense, it was all a-bit of a mismatch.
Naturally, my heart didn't sync with such beliefs, there was nothing orthodox about it. The question would be, why did I feel like this? The answer being, at such a young age I actually believed in a "Higher Power". The difference was, the innate nature within would tell me this being is unthinkable. Whether it was "God" I didn't know, but my gut feelings would draw towards that narrative. Something inside me would indicate that this being is One and its unimaginable. There is no image. Comparing these innate feelings to what I was surrounded by was the biggest contradiction ever. We come to learn these feelings in actual fact was the original disposition, or the fitrah as some will recognise.
All the above indicators and feelings was happening from the age of 10. But I was still very young and would push such inkling aside as expected. I mean, what did I know? Just a fat kid trying to become a Power Ranger. I would get on with my life, being a kid as you do, until the age of 14. During this period I was struck with an unexpected calamity - Cancer.
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